a gym by any other name

So, I went to the gym with Angie last night. To work out. And it felt good, I'm not gonna lie. I enjoyed it. In fact, I'm contemplating buying a membership. Contemplating.

Why? This seems like such an easy decision. I enjoyed it. I would like to go back. Heck, I want to go again today. Angie works out there, Katie works out there, I'd almost always have someone to go with whenever I wanted. It's close. It's not terribly expensive. I can afford it. So, why hesitate?

You see, if I buy a gym membership, then I'd be one of THOSE people. I'd have to buy some respectable athletic shoes. Workout clothes. I'd have to buy a water bottle. Wear my hair in a sloppy ponytail/bun thing. And I'd have to either enjoy the music that they play (never!) or get an ipod. And would I have to keep my membership on my keychain? Ew.

It's the whole culture that I just dont really want to adopt. I mean, L.A. Fitness of all places. They named it after L.A., not even Los Angeles, but L.A. The whole setup feels like a shopping mall. The music, the television consoles, the patterned industrial carpet and the wood details. Why can't they make a gym that caters to me? Athletic kids make me nervous. I suck at pretty much every sport. I am in no way interested in ANY of the ESPN channels on your television sets. I'm wearing flip-flops because I knew better than to wear heels, AND THATS ALL I OWN.

So what about, instead of L.A., we could model it after something I would associate myself with? What about..

Mediterranean Fitness
Mt. Etna Fitness
Fitness Pizza
Godfather Fitness
The Fitness Underground
Franz Kafka Fitness
Fitness in the Rye
A Farewell to Flabby Arms
I Have a Liberal Arts Degree Fitness
I Never Learned How to Play Sports When I Was a Kid Because I Was Too Busy Reading, So Back Off While I Read My Book and Ride This Stationary Bike Fitness