So I went to the temple last night. And while I was there, someone said something to me that has irked me ever since. Someone I barely know said to me, "You're in the right place." And I know it's harmless, but it's bothered me so much.
And when Lori and I walked out into the foyer, to see all of the men there from our branch smiling at us, why did I feel like I was looking at a pack of wolves? And all they wanted to do was shake our hands and tell us how nice we looked. Harmless.
But it brings to mind Franny's nervous breakdown in Franny and Zooey, and Nora's breakdown in A Doll House, and I feel like I'm having a breakdown and I want to scream,
Don't look at me and don't touch me and don't try to make conversation with me. Because it's always the same conversation, where you tell me you like my hair and I tell you I like your tie and you don't listen to a damn word I say, you just smile. And stop imagining how I'll look in your family pictures. Stop sizing me up to see how I'll fit into your wedding ring and your king-sized bed. Stop wondering how well-suited I am to raise your missionary sons. And thanks, but I don't need your summation of how well I am or am not living my religion. "You're in the right place," indeed.
I want to take a day-long shower. I want to curl up on Ibsen's grave.
I think I'll be Franny Glass tonight and let Salinger lecture me on how we're all children of God and where do I get off being so quick to judge. Yeah, I know, J.D. I know..
2 comments:
So I stalked over here from your Facebook profile. If it is all right with you, I am linking to your blog...you can check mine out mine if you like. I'm glad you found me on facebook. It looks like you are doing well!(How did you find me, by the way?)
Also, I remember feeling the same way about Mormon Boys vs. Secular Boys. I finally found a mormon one who didn't actually like me at first, so he didn't "size me up"...
Post a Comment